0:02  
Good morning, everyone. We are kicking off day two of generosity exchange here on the main stage, I am being joined in this pre recorded session. But still fantastic insights that we're going to be getting with Lynne about T. Johnson. I was connected to Lynn through a mutual friend, Ian Adair, who folks might remember last year, Ian joined us on the main stage in a panel discussion on mental health. And so I sit, Do you have anybody else that can touch on things that are more personal in nature, right, we've been talking about, you know, donor insights, and fundraiser enablement and stuff like that, but we want to focus on people and their emotions. So Lynn, I'm so thrilled to welcome you here to generosity exchange, and we'd love for you to tell the crowd who you are kind of what's your, your superpower? And we're gonna get into a really interesting and vulnerable conversation in many ways. Yeah.

1:12  
I love that. And I want to thank Ian, and I want to thank you, Tim, and hello to all the participants here today. I'm really excited about having this conversation. Yes. I'm Lynn Abati Johnston, and I am a community builder. In my everyday life, I build community, mostly online, mostly digital, for conscious brands. And by conscious brands, I mean, you know, companies that have an idea of, like, they don't know what they don't know. And they're curious. And they're, they're wanting to build based on relationships, more than transactional components. So I that I believe that, you know, we're all kind of doing the best we can with what we have in front of us. And it really starts with relationships. And when I focus on that, everything else kind of falls into place, which is exactly what happened on my path to come to you and generosity exchange. So really excited to be here.

2:18  
Well, let's, I mean, one of the kind of the pleasures about GX is that, yes, we talk a lot about, you know, things pertaining specific to nonprofits, but it's always great to get the special perspectives from folks who, who might touch the industry in different ways, but but are approaching it in a much broader way, as well, because you're working with, you know, companies, and you have the passions that you have for different charities, but your everyday life is not working for a nonprofit. But community is kind of that thing that we've consistently seen, have come up as a theme so far this year. So in your journey, toward kind of your own professional career, how is even the idea of community evolved, you know, in, in a digital world? Let's start there.

3:16  
Yeah, um, you know, some people say, Oh, we met in real life, and I don't buy that, I think that everything is real life. Like, you might have a thing, you know, an opinion, or an assessment or a judgement about social media channels, I definitely do. And, you know, that's one of the things that I do for a living is I leverage social media to help build relationships and community around the world. So while there is that dark side of it, there's also the light side, which, you know, brings people together. And the community component can be, you know, I always say, use the tools, don't let the tools use you. So, you know, yes, social media is free to use, if you want to build a brand, yes, there are various channels you could go to, however, keeping in mind that it's all real life, and people will show up. And if you're a jerk in your life, everyday life, you're gonna show up that way on any digital marketing channels, or any digital platforms that you show up on, right. And we see examples of that all the time. So I'm very aware that you know, how we show up is is kind of who we are, and how we invest our time. You know, relating to people and reaching out to people and amplifying our messages is how we spend our lives. Like, right I heard that once like how we spend our days is how we spend our lives. Yeah. So it's a choice like community building. is a choice. It has everything to do with people feeling connected. And I would venture to say that the last few years for all of us globally, you know, the collective is really the collective, which is our world is really hurting and really in need of more connection. And so that's one of the things that I love about what I get to do every day is, you know, kind of bringing people together and also, celebrating wherever we can, celebrating any little thing that we can. You know, we did that, you know, I'm going to talk a little bit about when my mom was sick and dying, and, and she had a saying, whenever we would get the littlest bit of good news, she'd say, We'll take it. Yeah. And so I feel that way, every single day that I get to wake up in the morning, and I get to, I get to be in relationship, in conversations with people all over the world, and Dubai and Singapore in the UK, just, it's really, it really gives it fulfills my purpose. And I feel very grateful that in these last few years, I've actually had a chance to explore through the work that my company does with equity, inclusion, diversity, and wholeness, I have done a lot of inner work, not enough still. But enough to know that I didn't really know my identity, like I didn't really, I mean, I knew I was a nice white lady growing up. But other than that, I didn't really you know, and I'm from an immigrant family of brown people, really, but that wasn't enough for me. And so I feel very strongly that it's important for us, each of us as individuals to figure out who we are, figure out who we are first. And then we can do the work of building community and or, you know, simultaneously building community while we're all kind of figuring that stuff out together.

7:05  
Yeah. I think identity has quickly accelerated as one of the most critical things that that, in general needs to be reckoned with. I think that that there's a lot of, of as digitization accelerates, and as we have our, you know, when we talk about things like the metaverse and stuff like that, where it's like, but ultimately, we're still who we are. And we can put masks on, and you can put up different avatars and things like that. But at the end of the day, you know, I'm still Tim and and I have to log on. And I have to do all these different things. And it's very hard to also, since the pandemic began, make that line, make make that line very clear, I'm very bad at it, I have to be very honest, with folks here, I'm really crappy at that blind were out there, literally out that door. Because I've been working remotely since basically 2017 I have to draw a clear line because I have three little girls, you know, I have a wife, I have other people that don't give a crap about when you get down to it, the details of all the stuff that I do here. So I think it's important to like, not only think about that, but but but also talk about how when that bleeds into here, too, which is why I'm so excited to kind of talk with you about your story and and the things that that and insights that you've had. So we can kind of go a few different ways. But I think where it's very evident is identity is where we have to start.

9:04  
Yeah, it's where we have to start as individuals, it's where brands need to start, you know, and all of the consulting work I've done in all the years with brands, just a logo brands a logo. No, people don't do business with logos, sorry. People do business with people and you got to figure out first of all, who are you? Who are you for your customer and community and then Who who are you for the world? Like what are you doing here? What Who are you serving? That's why I love what you're doing with Generosity Xchange, as you know, you're expanding this, this, you know, these values and these purposes, because you are identifying, you know, the people around the world who really are you resonating with with your messages, and I love that you brought in the personal aspect and your three girls and everything and that the last-- since 2017, you've been working remotely because it does give us that more human element of who we are. And I don't see a separation, you know of the work life. Yeah, you can close the door. And at the same time, like you said, you're still bringing yourself into the room with you. Right? Wherever you go, there you are. Bottom line. And so, you know, I found it really, really challenging. You know, and I just wrote this book out of love. It's about my journey of transformation through grief, and caregiving for my mom when she got diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2011. And I was working at a Silicon Valley startup. And do you know? I did not... I was in hospital rooms, I was in ICU waiting rooms, I was in doctors offices everywhere with my mom, being one of her main caregivers. I'm the oldest of five children. And, you know, that was my responsibility too. Plus, I had to make a living still, and hang on to my job. So I did not feel comfortable or safe enough to tell my bosses what was going on. So my mom gets diagnosed, not a word. I didn't even ask for an hour off, let alone a day or a half a day. So I really did. I kind of did a terrible job because it backfired on me and my health. That compartmentalizing, that very male thing that I tried to do or use to try to do. It didn't work. And yes, I kept my job. And yes, I took care of my mom, and I paid the price. You know, my nervous system, my physical health, my mental health, you know, the anxiety that I had, I wasn't sleeping. Yeah. So it was very like, like, I know, the title of this talk is balancing your grief and caregiving in your profession. And I did the crappiest job I probably ever could have done but I didn't know any better then I didn't know, kind of what I know now, you know, 11 years later. And I didn't have the company culture at the time, really to support me in bringing my whole self, like, really my whole self to work. Not

12:27  
there's, there's a lot, there's a lot. There's a lot there. I'm writing down a note because of that last one, because I want to get there. I think there's other things that we can do but company, because yeah, that's so hard, especially if you don't feel that you can do it. And I think that there's so many nonprofit folks, I even had written down a note before we started talking that says that nonprofits feel that they need to suppress their personal emotions and feelings, because it might turn off donors, or it might take away from the mission. Because if I am distracted or having something in my personal life, then that that that's going to take away from my ability to actually serve on the mission. So let me let me compartmentalize as you put. So how did you go about recognizing that as something that that you needed to even start to say, wait a minute, I don't think that this is right, because a lot of folks even will power through the physical elements.

13:29  
Yeah. And that's exactly what I did. So I didn't realize anything until later. You know, like years later. My mom was she defied all the odds. And she was alive for about six and a half years after that 2011 diagnosis. So we I had a lot of time to kind of, like power through. Yeah, get myself like a system. I'm a Systems person. So I created systems. And this is part of my whole purpose and mission. In writing, the book that I did is to help people, you know, systematize what they can so that they have the capacity to deal with the emotional side of things. So, you know, I was always an entrepreneur. My mom was always an entrepreneur, she basically she raised me to do what I did, which was create systems around her cancer journey. When we had the diagnosis, it was like, Okay, let's go. We're going to handle this. And so, you know, not the most ideal for the health of the caregiver. However, I learned a lot. So years later, when I started to realize, oh, wait, like, this isn't really working as well. I wonder if I could show up as myself. And I never revealed it to my Well, I did. There were a couple of workmates that I ended up trusting with the information just to let them know hey, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to be here in the hospital, I don't know if I'm going to have good reception. So just cover me if you need to. Okay. And so there were one or two people that were on the DL that I was like, trusting. Other than that, it was all kind of flying by the seat of my pants. I mean, I never dealt with a cancer diagnosis or any other kind of diagnosis before. And the fact that it was my own mother was just for me, it was shocking at the time. So I think I just out of being in shock, I did what I had to do at the time. And I didn't learn to ask for help until later. And that was one of the main things that I think I'm also really learning now is to ask for help, you know, to show up and in the nonprofit world, you know, I come from a long, long, long history of being passionate for different charitable organizations since I was a kid, like, back in Detroit walking for the March of Dimes, and, and I don't know if you remember, I'm really dating myself now. The Jerry Lewis muscular dystrophy skate?

16:14  
Oh, yeah, absolutely. It's it's the book The telethon. Yeah.

16:22  
And so the telethon. Yeah. And but we had skate-a-thon, because my family owned a bunch of roller rinks in the Detroit area. Amazing. So we would put on these 48, our SCADA thoughts, and I was, I did it all, I was in charge of everything. And I was just in high school. And so, you know, then I got into later on, you know, volunteer volunteering at my nieces and nephews, schools. And I remember that with the volunteers, I was the volunteer coordinator, I was a Donations Coordinator. I mean, I've had so many different charitable organizations in Napa, the Napa Valley Academy Awards, event night and, you know, soliciting donations and putting on the silent auction and supporting the live auction, all of that stuff I loved. And I did everything as a volunteer. So I worked, you know, for three months at a time with a crew, right? Part time, in addition to my full time job doing that, and yeah, like you say, it's very true in in the world of charity and you know, charitable organizations is that whether you're volunteered volunteer or you're being paid, it doesn't matter, you're going to do whatever you have to do and go over and above the call of duty, sometimes to your own detriment. I remember, I'll just tell you a really quick story. This is probably not here or there. But I remember I was up all night, one night for the school auction that we were putting on, and I was working with my tech guy. And he and I were just going back and forth all night, putting everything into place. And you know, his production week, right? So all of the tech had to be done, all of the data, you know, had to be uploaded and correct for the bidding forms to print out properly. The next day, I had a sprained neck, which I didn't even know was a thing. But from being on my computer all night, I had to go to the chiropractor. And he's like, you've sprained your neck. And I said, what how is that even possible? He said, Yeah, so he helped me out. But, you know, I really started to learn about, you know, how it feels when we start to sacrifice our own health, ya know, for the sake of something that we're passionate about now, I believe that we can still do all of that in much more humane ways.

18:52  
So what I mean, and I think that's, that's the next question that I had is, is because this can seem very lonely and overwhelming, right? So especially knowing that you kind of had to power through and only recognize that trauma later on. What advice do you have for people now? Right? Like we're talking to a lot of folks right now, directly, what's the practical good beginning to even start here?

19:25  
I start by getting curious about what my needs are. I I've been on a health journey myself these last few years, especially to get healthier to change my gut health, because they say the gut is your second brain. And so now in my older age, I'm learning how I can you know, make recipes and cook at home so I say get curious about where I am right now and how I can get just a little baby step to the next level. And then ask for help. So, first the curiosity comes. And in my, in my world my curiosity comes from "Lynn, are you really hungry for that?" Whatever sugary thing it is, yeah. Are you hungry for food? Or are you hungry for camaraderie or connection? Or love? Or what are you really hungry for Right? Right in this moment. And when I would be spinning through the trauma of my mom's gonna die, my mom's gonna die, my mom's gonna die. I actually hired a coach at that time, after about the first year, I when I wasn't sleeping, and I knew I had to do something other than get addicted to the Ativan prescription that my mom had. And so I went to a coach, and she really helped. And she said, Lynn, I want you to always ask yourself, whatever you're spinning about emotionally. Is it true now? Is it true now? Like, is she dying right now? Or is the chemo? Is her hair, you know, falling out now? Or like, all of the things that you're worried about are going to happen in the future? Is it true right now? And so I think if I could say, nothing else, it would be get curious, and then ask for help. Those are two of the main things.

21:25  
You know, you were, you said something that just kind of made me realize, you know, even a few months ago, I was at a much different place, personally. And where I think a lot of times people can create these these coping mechanisms and dependencies. And this is where you see things like addiction come through. And for me, I had a really, what turned out to be pretty obvious addiction to alcohol. And so one of the things in this site Hi, for someone statements on camera. And that, that one that's scary to say, you know, but then in turn, I remember sitting just right out there. And knowing that, I had to say, Please help me. And my wife came home with the kids, and she's like, what's wrong? And I said, I, I can't do this anymore. And it's been, I'm gonna be folks. It's been great since then, like, it's been really helpful. And one of the things that I did this, I reached out to a few people in my network, you know, because because there's also something and you could probably attest to this Lynn. Like, there's also a time for like, leaning on your community. And then there's also a time to, like, lean out to professionals, right? Like, you can't, yeah, offload some elements to people who are like, I am not trained for this type of situation. Right. So. So so, you know, there's a few things and resources that people pointed me to, but one of them was Annie Grace's book, The Naked Truth. And the alcohol experiment. And what she did was she did the same thing. Be curious. Why are you thinking about that? And I've had moments where, where it's like, you know, I was just shopping for pumpkin beer, like, I was going by the store, and a pumpkin beer is on the shelf. And I was like, Oh, I forgot about that. And then I'm like, Why? Why do you care about that? You know, you have a non alcoholic pumpkin beer at home. You're fine, Tim. Right. And so Lynn, it's so thank you for letting me share that, by the way. It's your, your talk. Thanks for sharing that. But like, the thing is, folks, like it can be scary to even say this stuff out loud to yourself. You know, so So, so that takes courage to do that type of thing. And I And if anybody, you know, feels that or stuff like that, that they that they don't have anybody to talk to like you have two people right here. Mm hmm. You know, so,

24:28  
and there is a distinction that's very wise that you're making is that, you know, asking for help and who is it that's on your team? You know, I was able to hire a fantastic coach, I still have a different coach now. It's been really, really helpful. So there's the distinction between like, who can be of help in some areas and and then who can be of help in other areas. So to put together a team of people who really you know, you have your there You know, they have your back and you have their back as well. And then even more than asking the question why, which implies some judgment? Yeah. Why would you know, it's what? I asked myself? What is it that's underneath this? Like, what is it that you're really craving here? Yeah. Is it that you're looking for Lynn, and I, you know, I don't always win that, you know, that argument in my head, like, Oh, I'm just gonna have that piece of chocolate or whatever, which I don't think that's a bad thing, either. But, you know, I'm a recovering food addict. And so food was always my drug of choice and sugar especially. And so that's a very easy thing to fall back on. When you're sitting in hospitals in no waiting rooms all the time. And you're just like drinking, you're trying to be healthy. So you're drinking these crap, protein shakes, right, that aren't helping at all, but you think they are? And so like, we have all of these ways of kind of justifying and fooling ourselves that really, you know, and you said earlier about being vulnerable, being vulnerable, as part of a team and a charitable organization. Yeah. And I, I know, and I've seen from firsthand experience, what my vulnerability can generate, when I'm like, you just were when I'm that vulnerable? And talking about how am I like on a recent company, call an all hands call with my company. Our co CEO said, we're going to break you into breakout groups. And we here's the question, how are you? Really? Because, you know, typically the old Lynn would show up all woowoo like, Pollyanna, everything's great compartmentalizing, I remember I did this toxic positivity, toxic positivity, which I thought, if you would have said that to me, you know, even five years ago, I would have said, What do you mean, there's nothing wrong with being positive? And now I call myself a realistic optimist.

27:15  
Yeah, I think we were talking

27:17  
earlier.

27:18  
I, you know what, I think I'll adopt that title too, because

27:23  
like, I'm, you know, I'm going to expect the best and plan for the worst. That's kind of my thing. Like, that's why I'm a Systems person, I created systems, you can see them on my website, there's like 13 PDFs that people can go in, and they can download for their caregiving journey. If they're missing something like if they're missing a certain checklist that's going to help them automate their thinking, then that's going to, I think, help them to be more present with their loved one. So that's another tool that I think it besides the curiosity, besides asking questions, getting extra help when you need it. I mean, I'm a recovering control freak, too. So I wasn't going to let my mom go to chemo appointments. Without me or at least one other sibling. for like the first three months, we had to get the lay of the land, we had to be in control of the situation to the extent that we could, because there's so many things that are unpredictable, and not controllable. So for a bunch of recovering control freaks, like my mom and my siblings and I to go to be in that situation where we were so out of control, we had to have those systems in place in it, you know, it gave me some peace of mind. And I know that it helped my mom too, because I was her like, I was her number one admin, like, she gave me the responsibility of just figuring this stuff out. All the all the lab reports went to me, you know, I had them all faxed to me, in fact, tell you a little secret, if any of the caregivers out there and you know, part of our health care system is the inequity is just screaming, like, I think is getting better. But and I don't have the answers. I just have so many questions. But you know, why is it that when you're a patient and you get some lab work done, they're not forthcoming with the lab results? They say, Oh, no, you have to wait to your appointment and go through it with your doctor. Oh, no, you don't. I'm the patient. Give me the lab report. I want to see it before the doctor does even. And then I can be better prepared for my appointments. I

29:29  
can walk in with questions and things like that. Yeah, I mean,

29:33  
so you know, those are the things we can control. And so I created a persona called Dr. Johnson and I gave them my e-fax number. And I said, I want the reports sent to me because on the forums, you can say Who else you want the report sent to. And so Dr. Johnson, me was on there with my e-fax number and so I got all the reports and my mom was so old school, she insisted on having the paper copy. So We would print them out on her printer, because I'm sitting there working on my laptop all day. And I'm getting the e-fax reports. And so there you go, little tip little trick for the caregivers.

30:09  
That's fascinating. So I want to I want to, I kind of have two paths to go. And one of them is more on the professional side and vulnerability. But I want to ask a personal question to you if that's okay. What was it like, for the roles in some ways to be flipped? Where and not everybody has this relationship with their their mother or their father and stuff like that? I understand that, but but the identity elements, when they're up ended, I think people can identify with that. So in your particular situation, how did you feel about that? And and how did your mother feel about that? Yeah.

31:03  
Great question. And I want to acknowledge that not everyone has a mother or a mother figure or, you know, so there's that. And I was fortunate to have a relationship with my mom. Now, it wasn't always rosy and peachy. And my mom was very strong like me, and very intense, you know. And so I would have, we would butt heads, we would butt heads because the rolls did reverse to where I was taking care of her. And I, I remember the antidote for that is that if I say nothing else, I'll say this. And this will give you an example of kind of what it was, like I said, went to her one time, Mom, I'm really sorry. And she said, What are you sorry for? And I said, I'm sorry that it's you in that bed and not me. And she freaked? She's like, No, no, I wouldn't ever wish that on either one of us. She's like, you know, No parent wants their child to be dying of cancer. Right. And so she was just freaked out that I would think of trading places with her. But I was, you know, because again, I felt out of control. And like, at least if it was me, I could somehow control it. The other pieces of it were that I did become a nag. Right. I was naggy with her I was sometimes to the point of badgering her to do what I thought she should be doing to take care of herself. So So one of the things is we realized, we learned that cancer loves sugar. And we're all bunch of sugar addicts in our family. And so I'd be like, Mom, please. Like, I don't know why. But when she was going through chemo, she was craving Coca Cola. And sorry to drop that brand there. But

32:52  
she was one of the most prominent ones in the world. So.

32:55  
Craving cola drinks. Yeah. And I was like, Why? Why you never drink that. And so I'd be like, Mom, please drink your water. Don't you want to drink some water? She hated drinking the water. And so I would just be especially the first few years. I was first of all, the first year was all about me, and what am I going to do without my mom. So that was a freak out. And you know, I developed a really bad case of anxiety and although not sleeping, then it was like, Okay, I need to help her live longer, I need to help her, at least not suffer through this. So I'm going to try and help her drink the water and eat the nutritious food and all of that stuff. So I became, you know, pretty militant at times, not to the point of that movie. August Osage County where Julia Roberts is telling her mother, Meryl Streep to eat the fish. If that's uh, that scene was like, that was a little close for comfort. I never yelled at my mom. And I never, you know, raised my voice to her. But I sure could have, I could see where I could see where we get. And we don't talk about that kind of stuff. So the roles being reversed is something that I talk about it in my book, and I talk about it freely to anybody who wants to talk about that, because it's a real thing when the firstborn becomes the caregiver. And the mom is no longer able to even think about caring for the firstborn. You know, like her baby girl, and you know, and my mom was kind of a hard ass anyway, so we didn't really, and I and so am I, oh, I admit it. And so we didn't really have a touchy feely relationship, but there were those moments where I just, you know, I would like open up to her and be like, Mom, I'm so sorry. Like, I'm doing the best I can and I know you're doing the best you can Like, do what you want?

35:03  
Well, it's it Well, yeah. And it's kind of, you know, at what point do you just kind of have to reconcile with reality? Yeah, in many ways, right? Like, yeah. Like, you know, it's, I think of the movie like Toy Story for, right, I think it was where they all are like heading spoiler folks, they're all heading down toward this molten lava machine and they're all struggling, Woody and everybody like they, they're in this trap, right? And they all kind of look at each other and they hold hands because they're like, we're about to die. And they kind of accept that fate. And it's like a very powerful scene like accepting fate. Because people, we have this inherent will to live in many ways. And at some points, like, that's just not going to happen. And that can be very scary for people. Spoiler though, they get out of it. But the reality is like, that's the spoiler folks in Toy Story 4 the movie did not end with Woody molten. You know, burnt. I know. But, but like, the thing is, is that that's why it was powerful scene, though, because you actually were on like, the hook there for like, maybe they actually won't, because we all have to reconcile of this and reckon with that, that, like, we're mortal. Right? Like, sorry, Elon Musk, and all that type of stuff. Like, we're not. Yeah, we're not going to tech our way out of that. Yes. And so acceptance is, is is a beginning step here on a personal level. And I think we've done some some good work there. But I do want to kind of balance it. See what I did there? On the, on the professional side? Yeah. How do you know who you can trust with this type of vulnerability to because there are in one of the things that I kind of wanted to address is that at work, some people either might not get it, or there might be situations, if you're working in a bit more of a toxic environment where that type of vulnerability could be weaponized against you,

37:29  
for sure. And that's why I didn't say anything in 2011, Silicon Valley, you know, I, I know myself, and I know that my productivity and my work was going to be still, you know, my usual Rockstar status, right? But they didn't know that. They didn't know me that well, the one person that knew me the best was the guy that hired me. And he was one of the three co founders who i He was already gone by the time this happened. And so I didn't have him to confide in. Or I probably would have. So you know, I have a very good what I call spidey sense. So I, I can read people pretty well. And that's why I chose one or two people at work to say, look, if I'm MIA, or if I'm offline, you know, cover for me, please. I'll be back. They knew they could trust me, I knew I could trust them. If it's a toxic, toxic work environment, you know, you don't have to choose like, I had to be working, I could not leave that job at the time. And it was a remote, mostly remote, I would go in to Sunnyvale, you know, once every couple of weeks, which was kind of a long haul, because I was living in the North Bay north of San Francisco. And it was a hall was like two and a half hours one way for me to drive in to the office. And then I would be there all day long. And then drive home at night after traffic. So I didn't know exactly who I could trust at the beginning. And so when in doubt, I just zip my mouth. And, you know, now professionally, I'm a part of a culture that actually invites me to bring my whole self to work invites me to be to use a buzzword authentic and show up as I am and so, you know, I remember one day Oh, just a couple months ago, I think I had some emotional stuff going on, you know, family stuff. And I just felt like I felt that irrational feeling of everybody's out to get me like everybody wants to just have target practice on Lynn. And so I was just having a really big pity party and I got on my marketing call and I said to my colleagues, Okay, I gotta come clean here. I'm feeling like dirt right now. And I, I just feel like the whole weight of the world, you know, that feeling of the whole weight of the world being on you? Yeah, it's actually it manifested me in me putting weight I had, up until almost two years ago, I had an extra 60 pounds that I was carrying around on my body. And that was a metaphor for the weight of the world. And I. So now it's a matter of professionally, opening up finding people who you can trust. Even if it's just a handful of people, I'm really fortunate because I have a whole company of people who they want to see that. And it's part of our leadership journey. You know, it's a leadership development and coach training company called CTI collective Training Institute. Yeah, and I'm really proud of, of, first of all, I'm proud of myself for saying yes to this company. Because it's the kind of culture I belong in. And I believe it's the kind of culture every company can develop, and every charitable organization can develop. And it takes time, and it takes people in leadership, to actually see that the people in leadership at the old Silicon Valley company, they, you know, they weren't they, they weren't doing that work. They didn't have that sensitivity or sensibility at the time to even be curious. And I think it all goes back full circle to what we started at the beginning talking about, is that curiosity, if that's missing? You know, I heard once that curiosity is the opposite of denial. Right, good. Yeah. When we're in denial, we're not asking any questions.

41:57  
It's just we're, you know, yeah, I always think of even the phrase cognitive dissonance, too, right? Where it's like, exactly what you're different. There are different elements of the same thing.

42:08  
Yes. different pieces of the same whole.

42:12  
when you can have leadership who they think everything's rosy in the organization. And so I want to make sure that we're ending on the kind of optimism element here because we talked about the realism. That's why I want to bring up like, how can you understand where you can start, how can you understand who you can begin to trust, but but even framing things like that, and if I just, we just ended there, that's kind of not just a bummer. But it also frames it as like the solution is the individual has to figure it out. And that's not the point of community. And that's not the point of good leadership. So maybe in our last 10 minutes or so, yeah, let's transition into that. Systems wide, positive. What does it look like? And how can people get there,

43:04  
it doesn't always look positive. However, it looks really, really juicy and interesting. Like it, it has to do with bringing conversations up to the forefront, like that old expression, if there's an elephant in the room, shine the light on it, you know, talk about these things and, and ask questions. You know, in the coaching realm, it's all about asking open and open ended questions, right? Yeah. Not why, but what and how, and, you know, those kinds of questions, what we call powerful questions, really can generate and pull out of people, what's important, as opposed to what's performative or just kind of going with the flow. That's not how companies that are conscious are built so it's it has to do with influencing in any way possible. The collective and so it's first starting with myself right and doing that inner work, and then letting that come out into our community work the smaller communities that we're in and then looking at the bigger picture of how we can generate transformation as leaders and you know, we're all leaders and and what we say at CTI as leaders are responsible for their world. And so when we frame it that way, it's so comforting for me actually, because, you know, nobody wants to do this alone, and nobody can do it alone. And it's like the ROM Das, quote, we're all just walking each other home. Right? It's like that Toy Story merge, like, link arms. I've got your rope. We are in this together. It's gonna Get Messy, it's gonna get ugly. That's exactly the metaphor that I like to use, you know, me and my mom and my family going through that cancer journey. Same thing. It's just different forms of that transformational leadership journey. And we all have our moments like, we have those moments to shine, and like where we nail it. And where we are instinct leads us in the right direction, where we're asking great questions. And then we have those moments where we're like, like, blank, and then we got to lean on somebody else, right? And just say, I'm not feeling it right now. Like, help me out.

45:43  
We've even internally in the marketing team here, we've written operations manuals for ourselves, and shared it with each other. Yeah, oh, like to be like, well, I prefer email for this type of thing. Or if I'm responding this way, this is probably the best way to address if we're not on the same page. Like we wrote a few of those things, and it's helped. So even earlier this week, spoiler folks, generosity exchange has a lot of work to put on. And it can be very stressful. And so I did start telling my team, if I start acting like a jackass, just pull me aside and like, like, let's address it right. And so it's, it creates a much healthier environment, where you can kind of even pre frame some of those those situations. So let's, let's take it on home, Lynn. We're gonna give kind of a final set of of inspirational advice, right? It's day two, you're kicking us off into a wonderful set of content. But what is something that you want people to kind of embrace and take with them? From your kind of your journey yourself?

47:00  
Yeah, I mean, I'll go back to the top, where we talk about it always seems to come out in in the, in the letter C, like Curiosity, community, communication, caring, and really, genuinely caring enough to ask those questions of yourself and of others. I think as people, you know, watch the speakers and oh, my gosh, your speakers lineup has been amazing. I've just, like been blown away. And so I, I want to say that, I really think that it's important to stay connected. So if you feel like you're getting off on tangents, or you feel like, you know, you've got like, a, like a jackass moment coming up, yeah. Back off, like, take some time, take a break, you know, even talk about, you know, if you're in a Zoom meeting, and you need to turn off the screen for a few minutes and go on no step outside, jump around a little bit. There's also something to be said, for movement in our bodies. And I've been learning that too. And we didn't even touch on that. But it's been so important for me to make a commitment. And I learned about myself a long time ago, I'm not a natural athlete, I don't work out by myself ever. Other than just going for walks and stuff, I can do that. But and or riding my bike or going roller skating, okay, those are a few things I'll just do on my own, but a structured workout I A, I have to pay for it. And b i have to be accountable to other people. So I've learned now I'm getting in habits where the movement, I can see how it helps me. And so I will, you know, I'll step off and go outside and breathe in, you know, the air and just jump up and down a couple minutes or you know, turn around a circle, whatever. So, along with all of those C's, you know, communication, curiosity, community connection, I would also say move your body and get out of whatever state you're in, if you feel like you're in a crappy state, snap out of that state, if you have to, or you know, crawl into a little hole for however long you need to and then come out and, you know, play music. I don't know, I've got so many different things that I do to get myself back to myself. And for me, another thing is music. And, you know, I'm like the playlist queen. I have playlists like you wouldn't believe

49:36  
Oh, folks, go to the reception area click on the Generosity Xchange official Spotify playlist and you will be good to go. Okay, Lynn actually, then, what's the song we got to add? What's the what's the song because I believe you actually do have a song.

49:56  
I do. So this is a can't resist good. Get up off your butt and dance song from the 70s is called Boogie, Oogie, Oogie. All right, by Taste of Honey. And so I know I'm dating myself but get on up on the floor. Boogie, Boogie tell you just can't buggy no more.

50:22  
So if you want, if you want a to hear that song, I'm gonna go ahead and add it to the Spotify playlist that we have. Lynn, what a fun way to end the talk that we had together today too. But like, there's a lot that I think that people can kind of learn and internalize if they want to learn more, obviously, we're giving supporting elements throughout the entire conference, but quick auto audio call to action. Where can people learn more about you?

50:52  
Yeah, I mean, right now, the thing that's up is my book. It's Lynn Abati Johnson book.com. So you'll see the the link right there. And from there, it'll take you everywhere I am into my house, but it'll take you everywhere online that I am and the resources are there for anybody who happens to be in a caregiving capacity right now, in addition to everything else that you're trying to juggle in your lives. So I believe that that's a place where you can go for I mean, I don't know for sure. It's just, you know, tools and resources that you could copy and, and make your own make it make life just a little tiny bit easier. A little bit

51:38  
more. Well, thank you so much for joining us to help kick off day two generosity exchange. Lynn. Absolute pleasure. And thanks again. I know we'll be talking. Same here. Okay. Bye, folks. We'll be transitioning into our next session and all the other good stuff we have

Transcribed by https://otter.ai